On One Hand


Guest Writer Paula Sangeleer, Middays on Cool 101.3

My father told me long ago that you can count your true friends on one hand. Little did I know that as he told me that, these said friends were the very ones I was in grade school with at that very time, plus one friend I’ve known since I was two years old. They are my true friends today, three in particular. I added a couple more in later years, and damn if he wasn’t right. There are five core friends. I won’t name them, they know who they are and they probably would never read this anyway. I can only hope that you have friends like this as well. These are the friends that love you unconditionally, without judgement, without question. Not only could I call them at any hour for any reason, I could not speak with them for months or years and when we get together it’s as if no time at all has passed.

There are vast differences such as spiritual beliefs and politics, however those polarizing things cause no rift at all. The friendships are that true and that deep. I’m certain they feel the same towards me. Just knowing they are there and that they truly “get” me like no one else, brings me comfort and strength too. These are the friends who hold each other up when our loved ones pass. These are the friends who laugh about things the nuns taught us. These are the friends who help each other figure out lifes messes. These are the friends who fiercely defend each other, no matter what. These are the friends who pick each other up, hold each other up, and remain loyal no matter the situation or circumstance.

It is my only hope that you have at least one friend like this. Maybe you did long ago, maybe you lost touch. The challenge, if you’re brave enough, is to reach out to them, to reconnect. Get back to that place of no judgement, that place of pure joy, where the only concern is what to have for lunch. Get that hug you need, then figure out the rest. If you are lucky like me, with true friends, anything is possible. If you don’t have friendships like this, maybe start to cultivate them now. Then when you’re about to hit your 50th birthday, like we are, you’ll have comrades to celebrate with, to help you get through it with joy and smiles, and gratitude that we made it this far.

Just the other day I reconnected with a friend from first grade. We talked and laughed for hours. No feelings of time, no physical pains felt, no judgement whatsoever. This visit made me feel great hope for the future, knowing I’m not alone in my uniqueness despite our differences. The visit ended with a laugh and a hug and a promise of great tomorrows as we slide into our 50th year on this earth. It was a great feeling. I want you to feel it too. Is there someone you need to call?

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