Words on Loss


Guest Writer Sean Roman, Eagle 97.7

Every single human on this planet, probably every single organism, has dealt with the feeling of loss. It’s a very all-encompassing feeling, from a TV remote to a diamond ring, we’ve all been there. Losing a job, a relationship, a loved one. Loss can humble even the strongest of us.

There was a period in my life where I came upon a truth that shook my world to its core, a grand realization that made a huge part of my life feel like a lie. I began to lose my sense of identity, I withdrew into myself. Everything during those first few months felt different. Nothing is worse to me than that intense feeling of hopelessness, rudderless in a vast open sea with no navigation to go by. I was fresh out of high school and wrapping up attending a broadcasting school in Maryland and trying to break into radio. The program was great, but my attempts to start my career in the industry were not going well at the time.

In situations like these it can feel impossible to drag yourself out of that hole. It is a common misconception that it is something you need to tackle yourself. That you have to face your own demons head on, mano-a-mano, like the climax of a superhero origin story. Spider-man vs the Green Goblin, Superman vs Doomsday.

There are 7.53 billion people on the planet, it’s ridiculous to expect all of us to fight every battle alone, I mean that’s what the Avengers are for. You aren’t less of a person for accepting help.

Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I know that time in my life would not have improved if it were not for the people around me. I became closer with my friends and my family after recognizing for years that I probably kept them farther away than I should have. I started seriously attending therapy for the first time, which was mostly a positive experience other than my therapist being entirely convinced that I was too intelligent and eloquent of a speaker to avoid getting a college degree (I did not take his advice).

I even started taking medication, which was only marginally effective at the time, but the whole experience taught me tools that I can use to cope with the negative in my life. I realize that most of this article makes me sound like an old man when I’m currently sitting at the ripe old age of 24. But this whole experience also taught me that age does not necessarily equate wisdom. I have seen a lot of adults whom I respected do plenty of stupid self-sabotaging things. Experience leads to wisdom. You can’t tell me that children and young adults, survivors of conflicts in the Middle East, where the towns and villages are destroyed and their friends killed are less wise than a baby boomer born in the 1940s.

Losing something important to us helps us appreciate what we have left and in the future what we will gain, it’s also just the natural progression of life. No matter what situation we can find ourselves in, there is always something we can throw a life preserver out to. We have be careful where we throw this preserver too, as this is a very common way to start an addiction or vice, if your preserver is an abuse of alcohol, drugs, or another person it is a false one. Not everyone around you right now will be there forever, and you won’t be either. While this may be an admittedly very dark avenue of thought, it’s a way that we can really appreciate what we have in our lives now. Look around your life and find a way to appreciate the things and people that are in them, because life changes. Sometimes when we don’t want it to, but loss can create a better person. A person more appreciative of what they have, while they still have it.

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